Should Christians attend a transgender or same-sex marriage?

Alistair Begg, a renowed pastor and teacher, got into a lot of heat recently for counseling a grandmother to attend her grandson’s wedding to a transgender person.

His argument was basically that as long as the grandson is clear on his grandmother’s Biblical position on the issue, she should attend in order to maintain the relationship between them. The hope is that perhaps the grandmother would be able to continue to be a Christian influence in his life.

Begg’s critics assert that the mere attendance of the grandmother would be an approval of the ceremony, and hence an approval of the sin of sexual immorality.

Begg, in a follow-up sermon, reiterates that his advice was for that particular person in that particular situation, and in another case, may have given another counsel.

Where do I stand on the issue?

I think the debate online has been more heated than should be. On the main question, “should we approve of same-sex marriage or transgender marriage?” everyone is in agreement. The disagreement is on how much should we distance ourselves from people who participate in this sin.

This is similar to questions in our society about whether a Christian baker should bake for a same-sex wedding. Some say yes, some say no. Well, can a Christian shirt printer refuse to print “Happy Diwali!” to a Hindu customer? Would doing so be a celebration of paganism? Would greeting a Muslim “Happy Ramadan” be a celebration of Islam?

My point is that a Christian’s participation or acknowledgement of non-Christian activities is on a sliding scale of acceptability. As long as we agree on the fundamentals, we should give grace to each other with regards to how we balance various Biblical principles. Just like how we believe in the God who is holy (in other words separate) and yet became incarnate, Emmanuel, God-with-us, we must be holy and yet among the very people we are called to reach. How we do this in perfect balance will always be a running discussion in the Church. We must give grace to each other.

I believe that we owe Pastor Begg the right to give his best counsel to his people, given he knows the most about this particular situation and context. And given his track record of faithfulness in ministry, we must presume he has thought through this issue more than most of us. But instead, online commentators have hastily climbed their thrones to sit in judgment (like they always do), these self-appointed arbiters of Biblical truth.

Would I attend?

In most scenarios I would not attend a same-sex marriage or a transgender marriage. My conscience tells me that my attendance would be misinterpreted (if not by the couple, then by the attendees) as an approval of the arrangement.

However, suppose I was a transgender person’s only Christian friend, and that friend was being drawn by the Christian message, I can see myself attending with the prayerful hope that God would use me to reach that person. However, I would not take part in any aspect of the ceremony that would imply my approval of the arrangement. I’m there for my friend, not in approval of the marriage, despite the visuals of my attendance.

So in some situations I can imagine that the opportunities for evangelism outweigh the risk of being misinterpreted. If criticism came, it wouldn’t be the first time someone would be accused of receiving sinners and eating with them. In that case, I hope my Christian brothers and sisters would give grace to understand the heart behind the decision.